I know of few people less reviled that someone who states they are an Atheist. Perhaps there are others like maybe, a Satanist, a wife beater, a serial killer, a pedophile, maybe a meth addict, a prostitute or witch that are even more hated but I have to say (by the reactions I have seen) being an Atheist is right up at the top of the list.
Years ago Gays were afraid to come out of the closet. Fear of rejection, loss of income, and even their safety kept them in hiding. Many Gays have been able to “come out” but many, depending on their circumstances, still feel the need to remain behind closed doors. In recent years though, things have come a long way and the Gay community is actively courted by cruise lines, resorts, and even political parties vying for their support. That hasn’t happened with Atheists. In fact, far from courting the non-believers for support or votes, most people want to be as far from us as possible.
Why do you think that is? An Atheist is simply someone who, based on the evidence, doesn’t believe in any Gods. That’s it. Really, that is all it is. Some misguided individuals are under the impression that because we don’t have a belief in any God, we are devil worshippers. Well, since Atheists don’t believe in Satan either we certainly don’t worship him.
I have had people ask me how I can be moral or honest without a belief in God. I have been asked how I remain being a good person without believing in the Bible and having it guide me. Well, as one who has actually read and studied the Bible, I can tell you for a fact that it is the LAST thing anyone needs for moral guidance. In reality, there is so much violence, discrimination, and ignorance in the Bible I am surprised people allow in their homes.
I was a believer years ago, before I studied and weighed the evidence. When I came to the conclusion that for me, there was not enough evidence for a belief in a God, I did not feel any less honest, kind, or moral. I did not feel any perverse cravings to go on a wild drunken murderous rampage. Lacking this belief in a God I did not want to go out and rape and pillage either and in fact, I am not sure what pillaging is or how to do it. I am pretty much the same person except perhaps a little wiser and intent on making sure THIS life is lived to its fullest. I also no longer have to come up with different excuses each Sunday to stay home from church. This frees me on weekends to do what ever I want……which I might add, still does not include pillaging.
When you finally come to the conclusion that you do not believe you then have to come to terms with the fact that as an Atheist, you have now joined the ranks of the minorities and the persecuted. This seems odd when you have grown up white and middle class. The next thing you need to deal with is the fact that calling yourself an Atheist freaks people out. My very Mormon parents would have probably been happier if I had told them I had cancer. You see, at least to them, having cancer would not have damned my soul to Hell. So you try and water down the term for your belief system by trying to make yourself a little less reviled because ultimately you know your friends, family and even job could be in jeopardy by the admission.
In the beginning when people asked which church I went to I would just tell them “I really don’t go to a particular church.” I then moved to “I am not very religious.” Next was “I’m agnostic.” This freaks people out less because they feel you are just undecided (or being tempted by Satan) They feel that perhaps with their help you will come back to the fold. Time moves on and you start becoming a little more comfortable. I was actually silly enough to think I could come out of the closet with my own lack of beliefs and my friends would be open and accepting. Well, after a rash email sent to a group of close friends, the response was very interesting. Two of them admitted that they felt the same as me but did not want anyone to know. The rest never spoke to me or emailed me again. If fact one of them had her Evangelical cousin, whom I had never met or spoken with, try and “witness” to me.
When I first started this journey I was actually naive to think there would be no discrimination at work because of religion. I then found out you are protected because of your beliefs but NOT for the LACK of them. A couple of women would bring their Bibles to work and read them at lunch and or have religious quotes at their desk. I brought a couple of books one by Carl Sagan called “Demon Haunted World” and one by Michael Shermer called “Why People Believe Weird Things” and was told to take them off my desk because they offended someone. I knew then that my rights as a non-believer didn’t matter and that I needed to stay in the closet.
What’s really sad is how my girls feel. They are not believers either but they know that although I am not, they can choose for themselves. They go to the Mormon Church when they visit their dad and the Evangelical Christian church in the neighborhood with some friends. Then have even attended some church youth groups at The Assembly of God and I think even a Methodist church. There is no pressure to believe as I do and yes, I know I have a great deal of influence but my husband and I encourage them to be free thinkers. They have found out very early that they also need to remain in the closet with me.
They know that not only would they lose their friends if they were true to how they felt but that many parents would not allow their own kids to be around them. They have learned that in school, if there is a debate about evolution, creationism, abortion, gays, or any other controversial topic, they need to be either silent, or non committal. They know that they could never say they were Atheist. Now keep in mind, my girls are A students, honest, beautiful caring, moral, empathetic, loving, kind, and they don’t smoke, drink, or do drugs. They are great and very open with me and I love them to pieces. But just being “someone who does not have a belief in any Gods” could cost them friendships and I am sure mistreatment by others. So they have to lie and pretend around others too, how sad it that?
I have promised them that until I they were out on their own I would not “come out of this closet” openly or loudly so as to not make them social outcasts. When they saw this website the only thing that relieved them was that my name is different from theirs. I did assure them that very few people would even read my ranting so they were probably safe.
So, I am hiding in the closet in real life and out of the closet online. Here, I can call myself an Atheist and back in the real world I will water down who I am until I no longer fear for my job or my girls happiness, it’s too late for my parents but that’s another tale.
So, here’s to all of the Atheists, Humanists, Brights, Agnostics, Skeptics, Non-Theists, Naturists and Free Thinkers out there. Perhaps one day we too can “come out” and still keep our lives in tact. Here’s to all of us to dared to weigh the evidence and dared to not believe the unbelievable.
