A few months ago, when the movie 2012 had just been released, I attended a baby shower where the end of the world was the main topic of conversation. One woman said “she believed it was true because it was

shown on The History Channel.  Another woman who was pregnant at the time, said she too “believed in the end coming in 2012

because of the Mayans and because God had told her that she and her baby would survive.” One woman said the movie 2012 was “based of fact and proof.”

I tried to explain, without being too condescending and incredulous, The History Channel often showed programs based on what some people believed was history and not necessarily facts. Like the TV show

Ghost Hunters………just because they claim to see of find ghosts doesn’t mean anything except they need to occasionally “find” something scary or people would stop watching their show. I pointed out that the Mayan

hile advanced as a people for their time, also believed ripping out the hearts of humans as a sacrifice to their Gods was an important things to do so………how advanced could they really be?

My arguments fell on deaf ears and no matter what the evidence was against this latest doomsday scenario, it didn’t matter and do you know why? It is because people like believing in the supernatural, or alien abductions, or ghosts, or fortune telling, or any of the other weird beliefs that make people feel part of something big. Peop

le want to believe in these things and belong to a group who believes in them so badly…..they will even make up or imagine “sightings” to become a part of it. They feel special like they alone know the truth and for some reason, they also believe that ancient people who didn’t know squat about most of the world or anything in it…..had somehow come upon some vast reservoir of knowledge and had found a way to predict the end of the world.

What is really so amazing to me is why, after each failed doomsday prediction, people don’t stop believing in this idiocy. Well, another reason people believe in these predictions (other than having their bullshit meter turned down way too low) is that some of them are making a lot of money off of it. Books, survival gear, movies, websites, hell, I wish I had thought of this and started writing a book about it a long time ago because I am sure they are trying to make as much as they can BEFORE 2012 and it all fizzles out and they are left with a few thousands hardbacks no one wants anymore.

This hoax originally started with the return of an old tale about Planet X or Nibiru. There have been tales since the late 1800′s and for years after about an unseen planet or force in the solar system. I remember hearing about it the first time around 1993 or so when my sister-in-law at the time, was reading a book about it. Apparently there are “articles and studies” (not sure of who) about the formation of the earth and their theory is “that when all of the continents were together on one side of the earth there was a large gap on the other side (not sure what the hell they mean by that) and apparently all of this mumbo jumbo matches the tale ancient Sumerians believed that the Earth used to be only half a planet called Tiamat. What? Anyway….there is a belief that this 10th Planet called Nibiru will come back around and destroy the Earth somehow.
(another money maker that amounted to NOTHING) people also had their undies in a bundle about Planet X and it causing the poles to flip and we were all doomed. The internet was full of info about Planet X and “scientists” were giving lectures (mostly to elderly or uneducated folks who would buy their crap) and scaring people into buying their books, survival supplies, and even land in designated “safe zones.” After Y2K proved to be a bust that summer was the year that the next Planet X, planet alignment brouhaha was to happen. I think I remember May of 2000 as the month for the big showdown which again….proved to be a let down.

Now…..apparently, someone has “discovered” a way to link the Mayan long calendar and the Sumerian Planet X stories together and have come up with the end of the world theory in 2012 which they say will destroy the world and “usher in a new age of happiness and spiritual growth.” Call me silly but destroy the world and happiness do not do hand in and in by book.
“God will take the righteous up into Heaven immediately” one day while leaving the rest of us (that’s right, I will not be going) to fight in the final battle with the demons and the antichrist……Seriously? There are even websites offering to have atheists take care of your pets after the Rapture…..for a fee of course.

Just for fun, let’s look at some of the more popular doomsday predictions we have had:

The Mormons

“God had spoken to him and told him that Jesus would return within the next 56 years and soon after that the End Times would begin.” I grew up

as a Mormon in Utah so this one has special meaning for me. We all grew up with the b

elief that the end was not only near but we were especially “chosen by God to be on the Earth at this time because we were so onderful and God needed his most valiant warriors here at this time.” (No narcissism here is there?) I grew up with being prepared

and storing food (not a bad thing in case of loss of job or income) were essential to survival. I also grew up with the “knowledge” that if you did NOT pay tithing (10% of your income) to the church, you would be “consumed by fire in the end when the earth was cleansed by fire in the last days.” This scare seems to have worked out to be a great money maker for the Church

and as you can clearly see…..Joseph Smith was wrong and Jesus did NOT appear in 56 years nor had the world ended. BUT…..store some food just in case.

Doomsday chicken

In Leeds England in 1806 it was said that a hen was laying eggs which had the phrase “Christ is Coming” written on them. As the news spread people were convinced that the end of the world had come. But as people soon discovered, a hoax was all that was hatching.

Mother Shipton

The Mother Shipton story starts out like that of Merlin the Magician where legend has it that they are both born of the devil or of an incubus to a mother who is a nun. (That statement alone tell me this is probably NOT a true story you think?) Anyway, she was apparently born deformed in 1488 with the birth name of Ursula Sontheil although there is no record what so ever she actually lived. It was said she was born near the River Nidd where there is a well which is believed to be the source of her mystical abilities. Her incantations were generally frightening to others and told in the form of poems to be interpreted.

Nostradamus

Many Nostradamus devotees feel that this quatrain, as his predictions are referred to is a vision of Armageddon.”The year 1999, seventh month / From the sky will come great king of terror.” Like most of h

is quatrains, the meaning isn’t very clear and like other doomsday predictions….1999 came and we are still here.

The Millerites

In New England 1843 a farmer named William Miller came to the conclusion after studying the Bible, that God’s chosen time to destroy the world could be calculated from interpretations in the Bible. He preached and eventually had thousands of followers who believed him when he calculated the exact date for doomsday as April 23, 1843. Many sold everything they had in anticipation of Jesus arrival and the end but….true to all doomsday scenarios, Jesus did NOT arrive and this day became known as The Great Disappointment. (why they were disappointed that the world didn’t end is beyond me) Some of the group later formed The Seventh Day Adventists.

Comets

Comets have always lead to some group or another coming to the conclusion that they are the portents of doom. In 1881 an astronomer discovered through spectral analysis that the comet had a form of cyanide gas in the tail. When people realized hat the earth would pass through the tail in 1910 it resulted in a panic from some believing it was the end. Eventually scientists who were rational calmed their fears.

When the comet Hale-Bopp came in 1997 there was a rumor that an alien spacecraft was following the comet. Scientists tried to stop the rumors with evidence and common science but thanks in part to radio talk show host Art Bell and his paranormal program called “Coast to Coast”, the rumors persisted. A San Diego UFO Cult called heaven’s Gate decided that the comet meant the world was ending and the spaceship was coming for them. The 39 cult members committed suicide so I guess for them it did end.

Pat Robertson

Christian Coalition founder Pat Robertson informed his followers on his “700 Club” TV show in May 1982 that the world was ending. He frightened them all by telling them all the following: “I guarantee you by the end of 1982 there is going to be a judgment on the world,” Again….the world is still here so apparently God is either NOT telling these guys the truth and just mind F***ing them, or perhaps even God does not know when he will “end it all.” Or maybe, God is just a figment of their imagination like their predictions.

God’s Church Ministry

According to God’s Church minister Ronald Weinland, the end times are upon us– again. His 2006 book “2008: God’s Final Witness” stated that there would be only 2 years left before the world would be plunged into the worst time in history and that the U.S. would collapse as a world power and no longer exist as an independent nation. We are still here….in America aren’t we?

So in conlusion one has to wonder….why people keep believing this same played out line again and again? Are they so anxious for the world to end they will believe this idiocy regardless of the facts? Or….are they so weak and simple minded they will believe anything?

My suggestion is: If you are going to try and make money off of a doomsday prediction….set the date for the end a few years or decades away so that you have more time to rake in those dollars. Come to think of it…..contact me and I will sell you some land in my “safe zone.”