There are as many types of alternative medical treatments and quackery out there as there are people who believe in them (not to mention people trying to make a buck on them.) Alternative medicine is simply medicine that has not been proven scientifically. It is an “alternative” to mainstream medicine but then again ANYTHING can be an alternative to logic can’t it?

If I decide to “cure” someone of their cold by telling them to go out and lick rocks, (don’t laugh, there are many people out there who believe that certain rock crystals have magical healing powers so licking rocks is not too far from that idiotic belief is it?) that also would be an “alternative” to proven medicine. Licking rocks would most assuredly NOT cure their cold but if their cold was on the way out and they BELIEVED licking rocks would cure them, when they felt better they might feel the “treatment” worked. If I wanted to scam a lot of people I might come up with the “theory” that licking certain rocks cured certain ailments. I could then not only charge for the consultation but charge people for the “special” rocks that would cure their illness. Similar to people who believe in magic crystals, these magic rocks and licking them, would probably develop a large cult following of believers with their testimonials……..come to think of it, perhaps I should quit my job and become a “rock healer.” This is sounding better and better……….seriously though, quackery not only costs a lot of people money for a placebo effect, but can sometimes cost them their lives because they waste too much time on nonsense and when they finally see a real doctor, it is too late.

I have an aunt who developed breast cancer. She was also a little wacko all of her life and often went the “alternative” route to cure illness but often believed eating weird “health” foods would cure her and her family. She was always a proponant of taking herself and her kids to the chiropractor. Now, I believe there are chiropractors who when asked to help align a spine or manipulate something out of place, may do some good. I personally don’t want anyone to bend and twist me is weird positions (unless it is my husband and we are having a good time). She though, believed in and went to a chiropractor who was part of an group of chirporactors who practice an extreme fringe type with a belief that the spine and it’s nerves, cords, and other attachments are connected to each and every organ and manipulating the spine can cure the following for example: sore throats, flu, acne, and many other illnesses. I am sure her kids would have got over the flu anyway but she was adament that this was “real” medicine. Unfortunately when she developed breast cancer she still went to a chiropractor (who was an obvious quack) to cure the cancer. Now, was the quack so far gone on his way to LaLa Land that he actually BELIEVED he could cure her cancer with spinal manipulations or did he see a sucker and take her money while she slowly died? Who knows for sure but by the time it got so bad that she had to tell her husband and family (and explain the massive amount of money she spent at the chiropractor) the cancer had spread too far and was too aggressive for any other treatment to work and she died.

I also have a neice who about 10 years ago, was developing a large mass in her abdomen. Her mother, my sister- in- law, was a big believer in weird foods and alternative crap. (she was also big into conspiracy theories and extreme Mormonism) Instead of taking her daughter to a real medical doctor she took her to a friend in the Mormon farming community who was a self proclaimed “doctor” using the word loosely, with NO medical training and just a lot of wacky ideas. For some background: This Mormon mom actually had her own “office” by the side of her house where other community wackos went for “treatment.” She believed in a lot of odd food theories (some Mormons have a tendency to take chuurch food restrictions and guidelines to a whole other fringe level) and forced her children to only eat and drink food and water from home and even their fruit and vegetables had to be washed a certain way. I worked in the church nursery for a year and her children had to bring their own water from home and bring their own snacks. The kids also had to shower as soon as they got home because she had some odd idea that certain metals out in the rest of the world would poison them if not removed. I also had some interaction with her teen daughters and know that often when they got away from their home and mom, like at girls youth camp, they would gorge themselves on snacks, candy, and “forbidden” foods. They in fact would gorge themselves to the point of being sick and have probably now developed some unhealthy eating disorders or at least, an unhealthy relationship with food. Back to the story about my neice. This “Mormon witch doctor” told my sister-in-law that the mass in her daughters abdomen was extreme constipation from not eating the right foods. She put my neice on a wacko diet but she became so ill they finally took her to a real doctor. After some tests it was discovered that the mass was a huge cancerous tumor. She went through immediate cancer treatments and thank goodness they got to her in time because she was able to go into remission and so far, the cancer hasn’t returned (although I have not been in contact for several years.) But, they almost lost her because of medical quackery or alternative medicine.

How many other sick people, desparate for a cure, seek help from a source that promises a less expensive and unconvential cure? The figures are probably staggering. How many are cured? Who knows, probably the ones who would have been cure on their own anyway or who the placebo effect altered their mood and helped their natural defences fight what was making them sick. But, how many people have died needlessly because a quack offered a shortcut either out of ignorance or so they could make a buck? I am sure these numbers are also staggering.

Don’t get me wrong here, I feel personally that attitude, lack of stress, and an attitide of happiness can not only keep you from getting as ill as others but can also facilitate an illness being cured. There is an actual scientific and medical link to stress and illness. I also feel placebos work in certain cases and often just going to the doctor and having him say “this is just a virus and will be over in a few days” can have a great placebo effect and you may feel better sooner. But, I also feel some illness needs to be addressed and handled by a real doctor and not a placebo, witch doctor or neighborhood quack. I was a somewhat “imaginative” child (I think my mom uses this term in stead of just saying I was a pain in the ass and somewhat weird) and would sometimes develop a compulsive “tick” and do it over and over again, my mom would give me “sugar pills” and the tick would disappear (since the compulsive tick was all in my head a placebo, which is also all in your head, worked.)

Faith healing or the “laying on of hands” can often have a placebo effect on an individual. I was raised Mormon (story for another article) and people often got “blessings.” I am sure they had no actual effect other than as a placebo or as a mood altering agent. My grandma once had hip surgery and before the surgery her sons gave her a blessing. My dad said the doctors were surprised at how well she healed and the family just “knew” God had helped her heal through her faith in the blessing. Perhaps because she believed she would heal and that God was looking out for her, she did heal well. I am sure having all of her sons there at her side showing their love for her also helped. I am sure if you go into surgery depressed and thinking no one loves you and you are going to die, is not a great way to begin a surgical procedure and probably if not making things worse, certainly does not help you heal. I believe their is a connection between the mind, body and your emotions but I also believe you need to use your mind and intelligence to differenciate between when you need to use real and proven methods of science and the medical community and eating some weird herbs or having someone say a prayer over you. Being happy is great and so is using a placebo if you want to but not if you are dying of cancer or have another grave illness.

You may also notice that when people claim that they were “healed” by God with the laying on of hands or a blessing, not one of them making these claims was an amputee. That’s right, if God is so powerful and can actually cure cancer by listening to a prayer, why can’t he restore an amputee’s missing limb? For that matter, if someone is unconsious and can’t get someone else to give them a blessing or lay their hands on them, does God ignore their needs? If so, isn’t that a little unfair for an all knowing, powerful, and loving God? Can God only work “in mysterious ways” when someone does a religious or ritualistic act? The saddest and most twisted thing about “faith healing” and “the laying on of hands” is that the way religion has things set up, “God” wins either way. If you are healed, God did it. If you are not, you didn’t have enough faith. Wow, It seems God can’t lose either way huh? The legend of Moses (yes I used the word legend on purpose) and the Israelites wandering in the desert had them “just look at a magic staff with a symbol of a snake on it to be cured from a snake bite.” This is where our current symbol for the American Medical Association comes from. I am sure the ones who were“cured” believed God healed them and the ones who died were believed to have not had enough faith. Wow, what a great racket.

So, lets take an in depth look at some of the more popular alternatives to proven medical science and also at some of the more bizarre. It is funny and even enlightening to say the least and who knows, perhaps one day these kind of con jobs will be illigal, for now though, the quacks are laughing (or praying) all the way to the bank.