The Man Behind the Curtain
by Cindy Voetsch
In the movie "The Wizard of Oz" there is a great scene where Dorothy has finally risked her life to get the broom from the witch. She has brought it back to Oz at the request of the "great and powerful wizard." As the wizard is basically blowing her off again and telling her to "come back tomorrow," her dog Toto goes over and pulls back a curtain revealing a man working all kind of contraptions. The voice of the wizard yells out"Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain."Dorothy then discovers that there really was no magical and all powerful wizard.....it was just a man behind the curtain the whole time. This is how I have felt over the past few years.....like finding out that there was no "Great and Powerful Wizard"
When I was about 9 years old I was told that there was no Santa Claus. I remember one night thinking about him and how big the world was and how on earth he could do what he did all in one night. Seriously, it would take mom and I all afternoon just to do some errands at the bank, Sears, and the grocery store. How, I wondered, could he even stop at each house in the city I lived in one night, let alone the whole world? Not only that, as young as I was I was
kind of a science freak and I remember thinking "how and what would make a reindeer fly?" After I persented mom with these thoughts she told me that it was all a sham.
I was stunned, disappointed, and a little angry at the same time. Each year from November on my world had revolved
around the whole culture and coming event of Santa bringing me gifts. There were cartoons and stories about the elves
and reindeer. Song after song we sang prasied the inhabitants of the North Pole and the "big event." Decorations, foods, the feeling in the air all revolved around this man and his journey to our homes. When mom told me there was no Santa
that also meant there was no flying reindeer and certainly no elves. The North Pole was just ice and the magic was gone
in an evening.
I guess I had some suspitions but I pushed them away because really, who WANTS to lose the magic. I remember for a time
feeling angry at the adults in my world. Why had they pretended? Why did they tell me "Be good or you will end on Santa's
naughty list." "Cindy, you better not sass me or Santa won't bring you any presents." ALL of the adults in my world had been in on it. Teachers, parents of friends....all of them pretended and now.....it was over. I had nothing but the
knowledge that my parents would be sneaking everything under the tree while I was asleep and that now I too had to lie to my younger brothers and sisters.
I guess this is how I have felt about a lot of things lately. When I started the journey to find out about my religious
beliefs and what they really were, I too was shocked to find out the truth. I started with Mormonism and then Christianity
in general and after all was said and done, it was no different than Santa Claus except, my parents and many adults still
believed it. Not only did they believe it, they still expected me, after learning the truth, to believe it. I know that
a supernatural being did not create the earth and put a talking snake into a magical garden to give Eve a toxic apple.
Unfortunately many people still believe this and it is a little like living in a world where as an adult I am forced to
pretend that there really is a Santa Claus and a toy shop at the North Pole. Instead of flying reindeer people believe
in flying angels.....instead of toys they will be given eternal life. If i make the mistake of voicing my disbelief I
risk loss of friends, family, or job.
If someone says "I'll pray for you or God bless you." I have to pretend...I have to pretend that I have never looked behind the curtain. I have to often, depending on the company I am with, pretend that there is a wizard. It has been getting easier and easier though....letting other know that I have looked behind the curtin and I know there is no wizard or no Santa. I
have lost frieneds along the way, friends who did not want anyone to tell them that Santa Claus was your parents, that reindeer
really could not fly, and that there was just a man behind the curtain. I have changed family relationships forever
by admitting that I could no longer pretend I hadn't moved the curtain and looked behind it. Some relationships like that with my parents, will forever be strained and hurt by my curiosity. Other relationships, like with my sisters, actually benifited with my admission because they had peaked behind it a long time ago.
So where do we go from here? I live in a world where every day there is a reminder that I am a minority and that most people
choose to purposely NOT look behind the curtain because they WANT to believe there is a wizard. If someone tried to tell them
that there is really no Santa or elves they put their hands over their ears and refuse to listen and then continue on their way
filling out their wish list to send to the North Pole.
I what worries me, and should worry most people, is that we are living in a world now where those who believe are becomming so
desparate to make the rest of us believe, they will do almost anything to keep their beliefs in tact....they will do anything
to keep the rest of us from paying attention to the man behind the curtain. All we can do is just keep telling them that
Santa isn't real enough times so that they too will become curious enough to sneak a peak and stop pretending.
Comments
|
